Seasons

When can you tell when you are not able to hear God's voice for some reason - whether it be a sin issue, distractedness, or simple busy-ness? How do you distinguish it between the times when God is choosing silence as His medium for teaching?
Perhaps the very fact that it brings up such a question is the answer - at least it drives me closer to His heart.
I've been feeling so odd lately, not necessarily bad, but not necessarily good. I guess I feel adrift, somedays, like I can do nothing right. Other times, I feel like I have a lot of "good" options - especially where the job hunt is concerned - but nothing is jumping out and screaming, "Yes! I am the best option! I am God's will for your life!" But no. There must be a reason.
Everything just seems so bland, I guess. The landscape has looked the same since I got back to Virginia in mid-November. I missed the verdant summer and the golden-hued fall. I know spring will come, I know the remnant of the snow will melt and everything will come back to life, and it won't always be like this...
Sarah and I finished watching the Lord of the Rings trilogy tonight. *small smile* I still cry at the end. (I think that's a good thing.) It struck me anew tonight, the progression of Frodo's healing - it began when the Ring was destroyed and he was free of its power, and he could think of the Shire again; but even once he was restored to his home, there was still that something else, the realization, as he says, "that there is no going back." That's why he is burdened, he still bears the scars... there are different seasons... but then he gets on the ship for the west, and when he looks back to his friends, he smiles - really smiles for the first time in a long, long time - and you can tell he's free. But he never could have gotten there without the journey, or without the darkness, even.
Oh, for that day, when all will turn to silver glass... and better.
For now, sleep, before yet another interview tomorrow.