Autumn Dreams

The first harbinger of fall this year was neither the metamorphosis of leaves on the trees nor their falling to the ground. It was not frost on a window, for it is still warm enough in the daytime to warrant air conditioning. No, it was something far less romantic but nonetheless meaningful, even if just for me. Fall started coming about four weeks ago when the guys in the office started talking about fantasy football.

It was a dramatic, turncoat change. Baseball, which had captivated them for months on end, suddenly lost its luster, and football was every other word on their lips. I like football, but since we don’t have a television, I knew it wouldn’t be partaking much of it this year. But the talk did take me back: my mind wandered to Sunday afternoons, lounging around with my Dad watching games as Mom made special snacks. There were the memories of high school football games, when autumn (so much as it is in San Diego) meant donning a uniform and leading a marching band onto the field, when the evenings were just cool enough so wearing wool wasn’t miserable. I remember the laughing and talking in the stands and the blasting pep tunes and the joy of winning, and of course, the excitement of our third-quarter break. And band competitions, of course. Bus rides and the rush of the performance and awards ceremonies. Winning the Mira Mesa Tournament in 2000, the smell of freshly trodden wet grass.

And then the quieter falls in Purcellville. The first I don’t remember much of; that was the few months of culture shock. But I do have a few vague recollections of being in the Dorm 1 lounge watching college football on cold November Saturdays. I would bring my books in to study, but I’d get wrapped up watching the games. And talking to other people, eventually. Once people stopped being scared of me just because I wasn’t homeschooled. I remember curling up in the corner of one of those brick-cushioned sofas, wearing a comfortably oversized sweater and jeans, and just existing.

Being who I was then, I may never have guessed that during the autumn of 2004, the only football I would see would be playing on an eight-inch television screen in the President’s Oregon campaign headquarters. Halfbacks and phone banking.

But I digress too much into the realm of memory. I want to talk about this autumn. After the guys started on their football, I went hiking in Mason Neck park a little south of here, a forest by the marshes. Leaves were starting to fall from the trees, their yellow hue staccatoing the ground. And then, just after Labor Day, the weather snapped. It’s been marvelous. The days have been nothing short of perfect, and the evenings and mornings have an edge of crispness to them that is refreshing and delicious. Stepping out into the day is no longer a matter of groaning. Even when sleepy, a smile comes to my face with that first breath of fresh air.

The other day, I noticed that the underside of a local tree had turned completely crimson. Outside our window, the tree that bloomed so fabulously in spring is slowly fading to a muted gold. This weekend we bought some chrysanthemums, harvest yellow and blood red, which have now been planted where our summer perennials left off. I wish we had a way to get some sort of wreath on our door. But it is nice as it is, with the new color striking against the deep green of the ivy, the only plants that have responded well to my care.

Autumn officially starts in just over a week. It will be the last first season in our townhouse, as we are quickly approaching our one year anniversary of moving (and re-signing our lease!). I am anxious to see how the neighborhood changes, how my porch looks covered with leaves. I can’t wait to see “our kids” dressed up in little Halloween costumes – wow, this is the first year I’ll have to get candy for kids! That is a sobering thought.

I am also excited about more serious things, such as being a bridesmaid for the first time. Kelly’s wedding is in early October, and in my heart, I will have to give away another one of my friends. It is not a bad thing, not by a long shot, but it is a change, and one I cannot fully understand. But that is alright… it is a season, right? But what a celebration it will be. I am so proud of both her and Pete and am honored that God has allowed me to be a part of their lives. It is a special privilege to be able to stand up with them as they say their vows, an honor I’m not sure I’m entirely ready for, but Kelly’s known me long enough to know what she’s getting into.

I’m entering into the exciting and intimidating endeavor of teaching an ESL reading class, which I volunteered for thinking that I could assist a teacher, not actually BE one… but I said I was willing to do anything and they don’t seem worried by my lack of qualifications, so I’m going with the flow. “We’ll train you,” they tell me. That comes Saturday. Gulp.

So my Saturday mornings will consist of teaching, which will probably keep me in town for the rest of the year. Which will be nice in one sense. I hope to spend at least a couple Saturday afternoons exploring around the home front; Mount Vernon, Manassas battlefield, Annapolis, maybe make a trip in to Harper’s Ferry as the holidays approach. I have to finish Chris and Felicity’s afghan before their January nuptials. And I should finish the one for our living room, too.

Work will be stressful because we’re going to be in session a lot longer than expected, but that will be alright. While the Roberts confirmation will be going on Senate-side, the House side will be scrambling to fix Medicaid, address hurricane relief efforts, and, of course, gas prices. We’ll hear plenty about the confirmation, too. Deo volente I’ll get my stack down to a more manageable level and tend to more interesting issues in the office.

So what do I want this autumn? I want to walk in D.C. under fall leaves with my friends, feel the whip of the breeze off the Tidal Basin. I want to learn that being alone is as okay as not being alone. I want to sit back and watch life unfold, for there is so much around me I miss in my busy-work. I want to keep up my professional stamina, do my job better than ever to the glory of God. I want to learn by teaching and fill my house with the scent of spiced cider warming on the stove. I want to rest in change. I want to be refined for the spring that will come.

These are my wishes for this fall. We shall see what my Abba’s autumn dreams are for me.