Martha, Martha, you are troubled and worried about many things...

Where is the line between being honest with God and choosing to not be content with your circumstances?

We had an interesting but very good Bible study the other night. The guest speaker was a missionary from southeast Asia. He led us through a brief overview study of Jacob’s life. While I think we tended to be pretty critical of Jacob – perhaps seeing in him the very things we should be purging from ourselves – and I appreciated this passage in particular, from Genesis 32:

⁹Then Jacob said, "O God of my father Abraham and God of my father Isaac, the LORD who said to me, "Return to your country and to your family, and I will deal well with you': ¹⁰I am not worthy of the least of all the mercies and of all the truth which You have shown Your servant; for I crossed over this Jordan with my staff, and now I have become two companies. ¹¹Deliver me, I pray, from the hand of my brother, from the hand of Esau; for I fear him, lest he come and attack me and the mother with the children. ¹²But You said, "I will surely treat you well, and make your descendants as the sand of the sea, which cannot be numbered for multitude."'

I appreciate the fact that he’s honest about his fears, but responds to them himself with the truth of God’s preexisting and preeminent promise. I think that sets a good model for us. Too often we tend to be one way or the other, either listing a plethora of human faults and fears or simply repeating wheat we’re supposed to be thinking without acknowledging that God may be trying to teach me something in particular. So there is a balance. Jacob wants this something more, he wants to believe the promise. Can you hear the echoes – “Lord, I believe, help my unbelief!” But he is also aware of his circumstances. And sometimes, isn’t acknowledging the impossibility of it all a part of how God gets more glory when He does pull through, as He always does?

And the funny thing is, too, as exemplified in Jacob’s life, so many times the blessing is right there before our eyes, but we’re so busy trying to make it happen or assist God if we think His timing is off that we are missing the exceedingly abundant blessing that is already there. We also have to remember that the patriarchs all died in faith, not having seen all the promises fulfilled… but they still believed. But weren’t there times they longed, too?

I had a really fun evening tonight. After work, my girls and Aaron hit Old Town Alexandria. We found a nice Thai bistro with outdoor seating – it was perfect weatherwise, for the record. Just spectacular. We enjoyed our respective dishes (yay for Thai style fried rice, still one of my favorite things in life!) and then walked down King Street all the way to the waterfront. I’d never been down there before and was just dazzled. It was much like San Diego’s Seaport Village, but with East Coast flair. There’s a whole bunch of nice restaurants, each with a distinct personality and style, and specialty stores lining the streets. A few tour guides in colonial era costume were getting ready to lead a ghost tour. Lanterns were lit outside the stone buildings, and we came to the water, where the boats flowed gently back and forth and street musicians played their tunes. A gentle breeze, twilight, company of friends – it was wonderful. So why did I have to fight to keep my mind from going back to, “this is so romantic… if only there was someone I could be sharing this with!” Obviously, I’m sharing it with three people right now, so what have I to complain about? God’s not left me alone. I have the love and companionship of amazing people. So why can’t I focus on and be grateful for that?

As we were walking back, I put my arm around Sarah. We both acknowledged that she wished I was someone else, and had a good laugh about that. At least she knows who she’s missing.

I was very convicted reading Jesus’ admonition to Martha the other day. “You are troubled and worried about many things.” I can almost hear the disappointment, the pleading in His voice. "Martha, don’t you see the most important thing is right here in front of you? Do you want to miss the blessing?"

Leeann, Leeann, you are worried and troubled about many things. So tell Me about them, leave them here, I will take care of them – and I will give you rest, if you’ll only let Me.