I Remember

I remember that college and the East Coast was all very new. I remember feeling out of place, more than I ever had in my previous school experience, and missing home. I remember being young, very young, and feeling it for once.

I remember it was a Tuesday, because it meant I didn’t have to work in the kitchen that morning. I remember I slept in (all the way to 8) before getting ready for my morning class.

I remember what a beautiful day it was – probably in the low sixties with little humidity, and the sky was blue – that blue of Virginia springs and falls when there’s not a cloud in the sky – and there wasn’t. I remember walking up the circle and a light wind blowing across campus. I remember being sleepy, but otherwise happy.

I remember going to Con Law and not understanding half of what was said, and hearing a rumor that something had happened to one of the World Trade Center towers – an accident. I remember going to chapel – we still met in the dining hall then. I remember the tall, bald upper-class professor getting up and saying that it appeared our nation was under attack.

I remember huddling around tvs, because there were no large ones to watch on campus. I remember grainy images of fire and collapse. I remember looking over people’s shoulders as they pulled up information on their laptops. I remember the phones being down.

I remember being with Audrey, the only fellow student I met before arriving in Virginia. I remember finding Dr. B with her, her asking whether we were in any danger, and the fact that was a possibility finally settling into my psyche when I remembered the Pentagon was only an hour away.

I remember finally checking my email and finding the following message (of which I still have a hard copy):
Dear Leeann, The news is very distressing, please connect with me as things change for you. I don’t know how this will effect you and want to be kept up to date. We are in His hands, and they are very capable, comforting, loving hands indeed. I love you and am looking forward to hearing from you. Deo volente… Mom

I remember thinking how calm she sounded for a mother whose only daughter had just moved a quarter of the way around the world.

I remember how quiet it seemed when I finally headed back from the main building to my dorm. I remember the conspicuous absence of traffic in the skies, which lasted for the many weeks Dulles was shut down. I remember that there still wasn’t a cloud in the sky.

I remember going to bed, in a dorm room that still had no furniture save bed frames and mattresses, knowing that the world had changed. I remember being exhausted, but reaching for my journal and writing anyway. I remember calling them faceless cowards. And I remembered wondering if the future would hold more of this. But I remember knowing God is faithful. And it is a joy to know I can go to bed with that same knowledge tonight.