Worth it

I have my moments of wondering whether it’s worth it.

I want to believe it is – so badly that sometimes I wonder whether I accept any arguments that challenge that conclusion. But today, I’m tired. I’m tired of wondering whether I’ll get to see my family for Christmas because Members of Congress can’t play nice with Senators, and both simply throw their toys out of the playpen when they don’t get their way. Not my boss, but generally. People suffer as a result – both from a policy perspective (because whatever ends up passing is passed in haste) and a staff perspective. An approps guy down the hall hasn’t been able to take his kids to get a Christmas tree because he’s been in meetings every weekend since Thanksgiving.

And tonight, because of a worthless political ploy, I have to stay late at work when one of my best friends, whom I haven’t seen in half a year, is coming to my house for dinner.

I know in the grand scheme of things, it’s a small sacrifice for serving my country. Especially since I will be able to spend the rest of the week with her. Someone has to make the sacrifice to grind out the sausage, right? Our soldiers certainly endure far more than my small suburban mind can imagine. And I am grateful to have a job in which I can have so many amazing experiences and earns enough for me to provide for myself, especially in the D.C. area.

This is what I want. Right?

But tonight I want to be with my friends, and I can’t have both.

So I turn up Augustana’s Boston loud enough to drown out the rhetoric streaming in from CSPAN, and squeeze my eyes just tight enough.

Think that I’m just tired…