Houses and prisms

If I had a million dollars, so the somewhat-recent pop song goes, I’d be rich. Had I a million dollars, I would buy the house I looked at with Allis, Sarah, and Aaron today. It is a half-block from Eastern Market – a close walk to the farmer’s market for groceries and flowers on the weekend. It has beautiful wood floors, a fun narrow staircase leading to two lovely bedrooms and a huge bathroom. A cozy but functional chef’s kitchen with marble counter tops – when I walked in I could almost see the scene: mothers, daughters, aunts, a grandma, and a couple little kids buzzing around trying to make Thanksgiving dinner happen on a crisp autumn’s day. It is a lovely little piece of D.C.
But as we all know, I don’t have a million dollars, so my settle-lust will just have to wait.

In other news, the prism hanging from my window has caught the afternoon sunlight just so it has scattered two dozen rainbow spots on the cream-colored walls of my room. Made me think about light, and vision, what is seen and unseen. We see light (and by it see everything else) every day. These brilliant colors, the red and yellow and green and purple, are always part of that light. They are its very constituent parts. It just takes the right circumstances to see light as it truly is; it takes cut glass or a rainstorm. How often is life and the stuff of it the same way – we miss the full beauty of everything around us just because we don’t have eyes to see, ears to hear, or hearts to understand? (And isn’t it funny the Bible references understanding not only with our minds, but our hearts? Pity the hyperintellectuals who love the mind at the expense of the heart!) We are surrounded by the extraordinary, but fear and doubt turn it into clouds and shadow. Nine times out of ten it is our perception of reality, not reality itself, that causes us to doubt. Had we the complete picture, trust would replace fear.
It is encouraging to reflect on the fact that my perception isn’t always right. I’m so grateful that is the case.

Sometimes I fear maybe I'm not chosen
You've hardened my heart like Pharaoh
That would explain why life is so hard for me
And I am sad Esau hated
Crying against what's fated
Saying “Father, please, is there any left for me?”

Cast out my doubts, please prove me wrong
'Cause these demons can be so headstrong;
Make my walls fall, please prove me wrong
'Cause this resentment's been building
Burn them up with Your fire so strong
If You can before I bail, please prove me wrong

I fear maybe this is all just a game
Our friends and our families all play too
To harness the young and give some comfort to the old…

Don't let my doubts prove true
Draw me close and hold me near to You
Keep me still until the day You

Cast out my doubts, and prove me wrong
'Cause these demons can be so headstrong;
Make my walls fall, please prove me wrong
'Cause this resentment's been building
Burn them up with Your fire so strong
If You can before I bail, please prove me wrong…
~ Caedmon’s Call